The practice of having multiple loving, committed relationships with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved. A form of ethical non-monogamy distinguished from open relationships by its focus on emotional intimacy alongside, or instead of, sex.
Also known as Poly, Polyamorous.
What polyamory actually covers
The word is a hybrid: Greek poly (many) plus Latin amor (love). Morning Glory Zell-Ravenheart introduced the concept in print in her 1990 Green Egg essay "A Bouquet of Lovers," though the noun form "polyamory" first appeared in a glossary handout distributed shortly after. (Jennifer L. Wesp independently coined the word on the Usenet group alt.polyamory in May 1990; the OED credits her.) The practice is older than the name.
Inside polyamory, there's enormous variation. Hierarchical polyamory keeps a primary partner at the center (the person you live with, raise kids with, build a life around), with other relationships defined in relation to that primacy. Non-hierarchical polyamory rejects that framing: all relationships exist on their own terms, and nobody outranks anyone. Solo polyamory takes it further still. Solo poly people don't "nest" or share finances by default and often treat themselves as their own primary.
Within any of these, there are styles of practice. Kitchen table polyamory means your partners and metamours (your partners' other partners) hang out, share meals, maybe co-parent. Parallel polyamory means they don't. Partners exist in separate lanes that don't overlap. Neither is better. They're preferences, often temperamentally driven.
Most people practicing polyamory rely on two books to get started: Elisabeth Sheff's The Polyamorists Next Door, based on her 15-year study of poly families, and Jessica Fern's Polysecure, which applied attachment theory to non-monogamy and gave the field a clinical vocabulary it didn't previously have. If you're going to read one thing, read Polysecure.
Where people get it wrong
It's not about avoiding commitment. A lot of poly people hold more committed relationships simultaneously than some monogamous people hold across their entire lives. The commitments look different, not smaller.
It's not the same as polygamy. Polygamy refers to multiple marriages and is religiously or legally framed. Polyamory is about relationships, not legal status.
You don't need multiple partners at all times to "be" polyamorous. Many people describe polyamory as an orientation rather than a practice, a way of relating that doesn't require currently dating multiple people to be real. Single polyamorous people exist. They're still polyamorous.
It's not always easier for the person who opened things up. New Relationship Energy with an outside partner is famously intoxicating. The partner staying home with the feelings is doing harder work, and that asymmetry is one of the first real tests.
Research doesn't support the "monogamy is healthier" story. A 2025 meta-analysis in the Journal of Sex Research by Anderson and colleagues pooled 35 studies and nearly 25,000 participants. Consensually non-monogamous relationships showed comparable satisfaction to monogamous ones across trust, commitment, intimacy, and sexual satisfaction.
Related terms you'll see
- Open relationship
Another form of ENM, usually couple-centered and usually focused on outside sexual (not romantic) connections.
- Hierarchical / non-hierarchical polyamory
Whether a primary partnership outranks others by design.
- Solo polyamory
Polyamorous practice that centers individual autonomy; no nesting partner by default.
- Polycule
The full network of connected relationships: you, your partners, their partners, and so on.
- Metamour
Your partner's other partner. Someone you share a partner with but aren't dating yourself.
- Compersion
The feeling of joy at a partner's joy with someone else. Sometimes called the opposite of jealousy, though most experienced poly people will tell you it's rarer and stranger than it sounds.
Where to go next
Start with Polysecure if you want the clinical lens, or the ethical non-monogamy page if you want the full umbrella. If you're in an existing monogamous relationship and thinking about opening up, the conversation to have isn't "should we do this." It's "what are we actually trying to solve." The answer to that question determines whether polyamory is even the right structure.
Frequently asked questions
What is the difference between polyamory and an open relationship?
Open relationships are typically couple-centered and focused on outside sexual connections. Polyamory focuses on multiple loving, emotionally committed relationships, where the individual is the organizing unit rather than the couple.
Is polyamory the same as polygamy?
No. Polygamy refers to multiple marriages, usually religiously or legally framed. Polyamory refers to multiple loving relationships regardless of legal status.
Are polyamorous relationships as satisfying as monogamous ones?
Yes. A 2025 meta-analysis in the Journal of Sex Research covering 35 studies and nearly 25,000 participants found no significant differences in relationship or sexual satisfaction between consensually non-monogamous and monogamous relationships.
Do you need multiple partners to be polyamorous?
No. Many people describe polyamory as an orientation or framework rather than a practice that requires always dating multiple people. Single polyamorous people are still polyamorous.